MV Muff Diver Ships Log

Calm North Sea Today. The MV Muff Diver surfaces to make the most of the calm conditions and gives the crew an opportunity to get some sun on their pale faces.

04:22: CET: Cpt. Cockinner.

All Systems OK. More 'kin light bulbs blowing. Even the Red emergency bulbs in the Control room blew. Dragged Chief Engineer out of bed to investigate.

11:00 CET: Cpt Cockinner:

Daily Systems Check:

Nav systems - Off Line

Sonar - Serviceable

Reactor - Online, green.

Power System - Online, Green

Electro Engines - Green

Generators - Online, Green

Weapons Systems, Online - Green

Oxygen - Full, Clean & Green

Water (Drinking) - 84% Capacity

Radiation Levels (Public Areas) - Clean 0.03 R/hr

Radiation Levels (Reactor Room) - Normal 1.8 R/hr

Transmitter - Serviceable

14:08: CET: Cpt. Cockinner

Chief Engineer reports that electrical system is 100% operational and correct. He confirms that the lightbulbs are cheap and nasty and advices that an alternative to Asda light bulbs be obtained. He also recommends long life halogen bulbs which consume less power too. Told him to fuck off as they are three quid a piece.

We will surface today to get some fresh air, conditions above are pleasant so we will take this opportunity to get some sun on our pale faces

# posted by Captain Ramsey Cockinner @ 2:41 pm